Am I evil? Wait, don’t answer that…it’s a rhetorical question.

A few weeks ago, the DH and I were at the outlaws place for dinner.  Because these things never run according to any set schedule I almost always bring something to knit.  On this particular day I brought the strap to a market bag I was working on….a long strip of moss stitch made out of green cotton yarn.

So the FIL, who rarely takes an interest in much of anything I do, asked me what I was making.  I explained it was a strap for a market bag for a swap.  He told me he thought I was perhaps making him a sweater.  I replied no, 100% cotton isn’t generally considered great material for knitting a sweater and this would be some kind of weird sweater as it was about a foot long and maybe two inches wide.

Not satisified with my answer the FIL tells me that he wants a sweater, but not made of nylon (????) as he only wears natural materials.  Oh sure I think, as I have NEVER seen him wear the 100% merino wool scarf I made him, I’ll get right on that.  And further to my grouchy thoughts, why would I want to spend 60 or so hours of my life and at least $100 (and quite possibly more) of my hard earned cash making him a sweater?  He’s not exactly my favourite person.

When I got back to the yarn cave/craft studio/happy place later that night and was mindlessly rummaging throught the stash, I came across several balls of black acrylic yarn.  Enough to make a medium sized men’s pullover.  Hmmmmmm.  The evilness began to bubble up.

I have no use for several balls of black acrylic yarn.  I’m not making a black afgan or black baby blanket.  Plus it’s taking up valuable room in my stash.  And it’s definitely scratchy.  However, I also don’t want to devote a chunk of my life to a man I don’t like.  But, it would win me some big brownie points.  And get rid of the acrylic (which was made into balls many years ago and the ball bands are long gone).  I really think this black acrylic wants to be made into a sweater for my FIL.  Really.  I can’t get it out of my mind.

To further ensure I am going straight to Hell, on my yarn crawl in Ottawa I bought a bag of superwash wool that is enough to make the exact same sweater for MIL’s brother (we see the whole clan at Christmas and everyone needs the same gift.  Or at least comparable gifts so noses aren’t out of joint.  Plus I like MIL’s brother.  A lot.).

So itchy scratchy black acrylic pullover for FIL and lovely black wool pullover for uncle-in-law (UIL?) for Christmas this year.  It’s an easy pattern I’ve made twice before and the yarn is chunky.  And I get some satisfaction in that as much as FIL irritates me the sweater I’ll make for him will be equally irritating.

Yes, I am seven years old and vindictive.  And made strangely happy by my “plan”.  May as well have fun on the way since I clearly will be going to Hell.  Where I’m sure I’ll see many of you.


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