I’m not being paranoid. I know she hates me.

It’s an open secret that I don’t care much for the outlaws.  I could go into it, but the whole topic is depressing.  Besides, they’re not going to change any time soon so I’d really be wasting my breath.  Or text as the case may be.

I am pretty convinced though that Mama Outlaw does not care for me.  She’s never explicitly said anything to me, but I can tell.  After all, I’m the one who now looks after her darling-precious-angel-snowflake son and not her.  Which I know burns her butt.  Plus I’m crafty.  She crochets (I don’t) but that’s all she does as far as I can tell.  I am more of a Jack-of-all-trades crafter but I focus mainly on knitting these days.  She gets intimidated by anyone who does stuff a) better than her or b) different than her.  So you can see where this is going.

On Sunday my mom and I went to my mom’s local Fabricland because it’s closing.  And it’s offering 40% off EVERYTHING.  Coincidentally I need everything.  Well, not everything but I do need coverings for 18 windows.  And I don’t want to keep the icky metal blinds that are currently hanging in the Money Pit.

So…off we go to spend lots of money and play with pretty fabric.  It was awesome.  I bought lots of stuff.  And as per usual I went into the store with one idea and came out with something 180 degrees different.  Fabric roman blinds for the main floor and white sheers for the second floor.  The attic is still being a problem child.

And here’s why I know she hates me.  I mentioned the other day when we were over, that I was going to make blinds and curtains for the whole house and she gave me the look.  You know the one.  The narrowing of the eyes how-can-you-sew (insert craft/hobby/activity of choice)-when-I-think-you-can-hardly-walk-and-chew-gum look.  Which was  closely followed by the snotty voiced YOU’RE going to sew ALL the blinds and curtains?  Umm thanks for the votes of confidence and support there.

For the record I can walk and chew gum at the same time and I frequently do.  I can also sew five roman shades and nine sheer curtains.  And she can kiss my Husqvarna.


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