This is not what is known as a win-win situation.

So I’ve written about DH and I arguing over our summer vacation.  We both want to go to very different places and while he’s prepared to bend, he’s not prepared to bend that far.  Which means I would still need to go to the village if I want to go away this year.

I’m not bending either and I’m still not going.  And he’s tried to sweeten the pot…Tanzania, Kenya or South Africa…paid for in total by him.  So what’s the problem?  Well, for starters we can’t both have the same time off.  He’s taking all of August off and I can’t.  Because for the past six months he told me that we had no money to go away and he wasn’t sure when he’d be done work on his current project, I didn’t bother booking time off.  But my two co-workers did and now August is a write-off.  I’m not bitter about that, they made plans and I didn’t.  It is what it is.  I could go away in September though.  But DH will be working then.  So no vacation for me.  At least not with him. 

And as it turns out, we, or rather he apparently has money.  Which now negates the other problem.  Several years ago he made a real estate investment with some family members that has paid off quite nicely.  Not I-never-have-to-work-again nicely, more along the lines of we-can-take-an-awesome-vacation nicely.  Or we-can-pay-down-the-mortgage nicely.  Or even we-can-renovate-the-bathroom nicely.  I’d be happy with we-can-insulate-the-house-properly nicely.

But DH, in his inifinte wisdom, has chosen to go to Greece and visit his family.  Now I did tell him if he wanted to go to Greece he’d have to go without me, but to be honest I wasn’t really expecting him to follow through with it.  I figured he’d do the fiscally responsible thing and stay home, meet up with his friends and family here and fix up a bunch of crap that needs to be fixed in the house. 

He may make a side trip to visit his sister who lives in Europe as well, even though she’s apparently really busy and will probably be able to devote only one of the seven days he’ll be there to him.  Not to mention, we were there in 2007 and three days was more than sufficient to putter around her town.  Sure he could do some day trips but that would require a car and she won’t lend hers to him.  He could take the train but once again, he’d be dependant on her to drop him off and pick him up at the station.  Or take a cab.  But interestingly he’s cheap that way and will probably walk.  And it’s a long way to the train station.  Ask me how I know.

To be fair to DH it is HIS money so really, he is well within his rights to spend it however he wants.  He made the investment and is now reaping the rewards.  What isn’t fair though, is that every tap in our house leaks, I can’t even turn on the cold water tap in our basement laundtry sink and the hot water tap won’t turn off once it’s turned on, we need a new driveway, our bathroom needs to be redone, there’s work still to be done on the basement, our entire house needs to be insulated, the mortgage could be paid down some more next year.  The list goes on.  That money could certainly be used to pay for a lot of other things.  Sure he could still go to Greece but he can also take care of a lot of house stuff too.  And that is the part he’s unwilling to do.  At least on a timetable that suits me.  We’ve lived in the house for over a year now, I think it’s time to start fixing the taps.  He pays for the hydro bill so you think he’d be more than a little concerned about all that money going down the drain.  Literally.

I’m trying not to take it personally but to be honest, it smarts more than a little that he’s choosing to spend his free time (and money) with his family when he should (in my mind anyway), be spending it with me.  And it also burns my ass that I am trying to scrimp and cut costs everywhere so that we can have a little extra money down the road and he seems to think that money grows on trees.  And let’s not even talk about my personal happiness.

So I’ve got three weeks alone to look forward to.  Three weeks of  no outlaws, three weeks of excellent deep sleep all by myself, three weeks of cooking for me and low low low grocery bills.  I also have three weeks of painting the basement, three weeks of painting the closets, three weeks of installing taps, three weeks of (finally) making those blinds.  I am also going to clean out our freezers of all the craptastic food his mother has given us.  I will also pitch all the “gifts” I’ve been given by the MIL…the ugly Greek jewellry, the glassware, the table linens, the shawl.  I suspect that part will be very cathartic.  What will also be cathartic will be the big FU I’ll be giving DH when he comes home and discovers all the work that I’ve done in the three weeks he’s been away that he couldn’t be arsed to do since he wasn’t “in the mood”. 

I’ve learned over the years that guilt is a very effective weapon when dealing with the DH.  He feels guilty when he doesn’t win people’s approval and he knows he’s in the doghouse right now.  And I’m vindictive enough to turn the screws tighter and tighter every day until he leaves.   His vacation won’t be ruined by any means but he certainly won’t having nearly as much fun as he could…especially since I will email him every day with news of all the improvements I’ve done while he’s been stuffing his face and sleeping in for 21 days.  I know how to fight dirty.  I haven’t watched five seasons of the Sopranos for nothing you know.


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