Doors Open. Doors Close.

Such is life I suppose.  I was offered (and accepted) a job last Monday and that same day DH was finished on his section of the project.  Well, technically he finishes on Thursday as this is a short week, but nonetheless he’s done.  Not done DONE as in unemployed, just done as in coming back home and working regular hours.

Which, after six months of living away during the week, will be weird.  Initially I hated being left alone all week.  I was scared of the creaky noises this house made and didn’t like coming home to an empty, dark house ever.

But slowly, over the past few months, that changed.  I left the radio on all day (so there was always some noise when I came home) and I stopped being an energy Nazi and left some lamps on on every floor.  I started leaving the house after work…shopping, visiting, knit night.  I got used to eating at 10pm.  And I got used to eating whatever I wanted for dinner (mostly healthy Wendi, don’t you worry).  I slept sprawled out on the bed during the week and stayed up way too late reading and knitting.  I could talk on the phone as much as I liked and never had to share the computer.  But far and away best of all, the every-other-week-dinners at the outlaws ended.  No more craptastic meals and passive-aggressive dinner conversation.  There are not enough words to describe how great that aspect of the past six months has been.

But, you get what you get and I got freedom from the outlaws for six months and living as I pleased.  I also got a cranky, miserable, only-home-on-weekends DH too so it wasn’t all roses and unicorns and balloons.  But Fate is cruel and I know dinners will start up again.  I haven’t brought it up with DH but his mother knows he’ll be home again.  I’m sure it will be mentioned this weekend at Easter dinner.  And after six months of outlaw-free living I don’t have much of a leg to stand on when it comes to saying no to seeing them.   Marriage is all about for better or for worse and this is a for worse part.

Anyway, DH finds out what his new project is next Monday.  Is it evil of me to hope that he’s temporarily shipped off to Pittsburgh?  Or Montreal?  Those are drivable distances for long weekends reunions.  And they are outlaw-free cities.

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Well, that didn’t take long

Three weeks ago yesterday I was laid off from the local university.  Since I do a very specialized job, and jobs like my old one aren’t easy to find in my city and I’m not prepared to commute for hours to get to the city where jobs are fairly plentiful, I figured it would be a long time before I was working again.  I had big plans to clean and knit and bake and exercise and catch up with friends.

Yesterday I was offered a job at a semi-local college.

As much as I loved my three weeks off, and as much as I’d love three more months off, I really do need a steady paycheque.  We have bills to pay and I have a yarn habit to feed.  So I accepted.  My life as a lady-of-leisure ends on April 5.  I’m a little sad, but it’s amazing how a little online yarn shopping has helped to alleviate that sadness.

Things I have learned now that I don’t work outside the home

As my Unemployee-ness of the Month goes on, I’ve learned a few things.

1. I really do need 8.5 hours of sleep.  Doesn’t matter if it starts at 11pm or 3 am I wake up exactly 8.5 hours later.

2. I am not the inveterate list maker I thought I was.  When I was working I made lists all the time.  Now, not so much.  I should, since I am totally disorganized, but I don’t.

3. I really can waste the day away on the internet, checking an rechecking the same five websites all day long.

4. Reading is so much more satisfying when I can start and finish the book on the same day.  Or rather, in the same 24 hour time period.

5. While I miss (or will miss) my paycheque, I do NOT miss work at all.  Really.  A small handful of people, yes.  The office, my desk, my desk chair and my day-to-day job…NOT AT ALL.

6. My chronic hip injury has not hurt since I got laid off.  I credit this to no longer sitting for 7.5 hours a day.

7. I don’t knit nearly as much as I thought I would.  Of course I don’t clean up the house either, but that’s a given.  And I continue to be amazed at how time flies during the day.

8. I buy way too many groceries.

9. Getting mail is one of the highlights of my day.

10. Holy crap does the cat sleep a lot.

Life so far

I’ve been the Unemployee of the Month (thanks Claudia) for a week and a half now and I have to say that life is busier than every.  In fact, today is the very first day since I got notice, that I don’t have to be anywhere.

I have/had big plans for my time off….clean the house, do some knitting and reading and baking and cooking and finally plant my vegetable seeds.  I also have to pick up a passport renewal form.  And I figured I’d finally get around to calling my friends and exercising.

In reality I have run a bunch of errands, spent hours in bookstores on the hunt for Interweave Knits Knitting Traditions 2010 (located!), met with some people about a possible job down the road and slept.  A lot.  And I’ve also indulged in the huge time suck that is Zuma’s Revenge..hey, I’m mostly nocturnal now so it’s something to keep me occupied in the wee hours of the morning.

Unsurprisingly the house cleaning hasn’t really started (but I have good intentions) and I haven’t called anyone, although I have done a lot of visiting with my knitting friends, and I’ve actually read a few books.

I am amazed at how full my days are though.  I met up with a bunch of former co-workers yesterday for my “good bye” lunch and of course they all wanted to know if I am keeping busy.  Oh yeah.  It may not seem like I am doing a lot but I am.  I’m reclaiming my soul.  I peruse the job ads a few times a week and figure I may as well enjoy this time off.  I don’t know when it will happen again (hopefully not any time soon) and I intend to make the most of it.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a sock (Rav link) to cast on and some tomato seeds to plant.  I may also indulge in a cup of tea and round of cat-petting this afternoon before I crack open my latest travelogue book about the Sierra Madre.  Life is good.

No more pretending

This is  not a request for help or advice.  It’s just a vent.  I know what to do and have to get my lazy butt into gear.  Which really, is sort of the root cause of all of this.

So I have to go somewhere on Tuesday.  And I have to look nice.  Yesterday I went through my closet to see what “nice” clothes fit me.  The answer was none.  I  have hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars of nice clothes in my closets (yes I  have a few throughout the house I use) and not one of them fit me.  Well, that’s not entirely true.  Some jackets fit but I can’t do them up, some skirts fit but the waist pinches when I sit and some pants I can still cram my fat ass into but don’t they look so hot on.

Which is kind of depressing.  Because weight gain sneaks up on you.  Or me anyway.  I knew it was happening but I pretended it wasn’t.  Oh, women’s clothing sizes aren’t standard. Or clothes made in India/China/Malaysia are cut small.  Or cheap clothes are skimpy.

Yes, there is truth to all of those statements.  But what is also true is that comfort eating for three years and doing little to no exercise will result in 55 pounds of fat that makes all those pretty (and expensive) clothes useless.

Yesterday I spent a lot of time trying on bigger sizes than I wanted to wear.  Sizes  swore I’d never wear.  And that fact, along with the price tags of those clothes made me hang everything back up and walk out of the stores.  I did end up buying a dress that will look ok (as long as I squeeze into the foundation garments and support hose) and have borrowed a jacket from my mom.  I’ll add some hot heels (at least all my shoes still fit!) and good jewelry and I’ll look nice.   I will even do my hair.

And afterwards, when I get home, I will march down to the community centre down the street from me and get myself a membership.  Since I am temporarily retired I no longer have excuses for not working out.  Maybe along with shedding the job that didn’t fit I can shed the extra weight that went along with it.

I have a plan

Ok so the first day of my temporary retirement went really well.  As suspected I stayed up waaaaaay too late and thus slept in.  But it was nice to wake up when my body wanted to wake up and not when the alarm clock told me I should.  I have always suspected I need between 8-9 hours of sleep.  I guess I’ll find out for sure now.

It was also really nice to wake up happy.  Which is why I know this whole temporary retirement thing is good.  I have woken up unhappy for months and when my first thought is “can I call in sick today?”  you know there is something wrong.  Today my first thought was “wow, I can do whatever I want today”.  Which turned out to be drinking coffee, knitting and running errands.  But whatever.  I did them when I wanted to.  Which was nice.

Another nice thing that happened today was that the cookie fairy visited.  Really.  I went out to check for mail and saw that the really nice people at Voortman’s had dropped off  a regular size box of strawberry turnovers on my porch.  And a $2 off coupon.  And let me tell you, those are some good cookies!  How can you have a bad day when you get free cookies?

But I digress.  I have a plan for being unemployed.  I plan to slack off this week.  Next week I’ll get down to business and email the people I need to email and clean the house and sew the blinds and slip covers and look for a job.  But this week is all about me.  And detoxing from the job.  And eating those free cookies.

OK so now what?

Today I was let go.  Well, technically I am still employed by my organization for another two months but today I was given notice and it turned out to be my last day as well.  A lot of us are “Unemployees of the Month” it turns out and I feel pretty good all things considered.  In fact I feel great.  Like a huge weight has been taken off me.

I had a longer run than I thought I would, I learned a lot of neat things and I made some great friends.  I also lost interest in working there about eight months ago and I suspect I was even suffering from depression.  I didn’t want to be there, I didn’t have any motivation but I couldn’t leave.  Or I couldn’t get up the gumption to leave.  What we put up with for the sake of money.  Until I decided I didn’t care about money and that no salary was worth the price of my soul being sucked dry.

Now I am free.  Liberated.  I can do as I please.

Except that I’m feeling a little odd.  It’s weird to be home in the middle of the day.  I feel kind of like I’m doing something I shouldn’t be doing like calling a sickie when I’m perfectly healthy.  I also expect that that feeling will pass in a few days and I’ll be sleeping in and enjoying my new life soon enough.

DH is happy for me, which is good.  Money isn’t an issue yet, although the belt-tightening has been going on for a while now as this turn of events has been anticipated by me for several months.  He did remind me that had we stayed in the old Shoebox house I would likely never have to go back to work, but sadly, Casa Not So Clean has a much bigger mortgage and requires lots of money for  maintenance.  I know that eventually I will need to seek gainful employment.  I have a few irons in the fire so to speak and I’m sure Murphy’s Law will kick in at any time.  Either I will find work within days and have no time off or I’ll be off forever and be grateful for whatever McJob I can scrounge up when the money runs out.

But until then I will sleep and read and knit and clean and sort and organize and relax and visit my friends and enjoy the “Lady of the Manor” lifestyle.  Today life is good.  It’s nice to have my soul back again.