Lest we forget

I don’t normally write about world events.  Believe it or not, I follow the news quite religiously and I do have a pretty good idea of what is going on around me, both in my own country and beyond.  I like to be well informed.  Smart is sexy you know.

When I started this blog I made a conscious decision to keep it light(ish).  This is my space to whine, complain, vent, ask for (and receive) advice and support and generally just spout off about things affects me personally.  A sort of online journal if you will.  I figure that anyone reading this blog really could care less about my political leanings, my music choices and what I think of the world today.  Besides, there are online versions of newspapers with awesome columnists and scads of bloggers out there who write more eloquently and are more knowledgable about our world  and what’s going on in it than I ever will be.

That being said, today is Rememberance Day and I’d like to hope that everyone out there took some time today, whether it was at 11am or any other time of the day to stop and think about what our world would be like without the sacrifices that our soliders made, then and now.

I have very soft spot for the military.  My first serious boyfriend was (and still is) in the Army.  He’s been to Afganistan at least once and is decorated.  My first love holds a senior position in the Air Force.  My husband has been in the Army Reserves for 21 years.  We have friends who are actively serving our country. 

I’m sure every soldier has seen things they wish they could forget.  I’m sure they’ve been places they wish they hadn’t.  I’m sure they’ve had to do things they wish they didn’t.  I’m sure they’ve all lost things…friends, limbs, relationships, innocence.  Serving my country is not a calling I’ve ever had but I respect those who do have it and those who answer it.  And two minutes of silence today is the least I can do to show my support.

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Signs, signs every where there’s signs

I’m not really religious.  If pressed I’ll admit, vaguely, to believing in something.  I like lots of things about Hinduism and probably, if a gun was pointed at my head and it was pick something or die, I’d probably choose wicca.  I’m not really superstitious and while I’ve been told several times that I have “the gift” of being psychic, aside from occasionally knowing who is on the phone before I pick it up, I don’t think I have any psychic ability at all. 

So I’m not sure if it’s a higher power, the fact that I’m on the lookout for something, The Universe or whatever you want to call it, but isn’t it weird when everything seems to point you to move in a certain direction?

Take for example the strange case of Spain.  Earlier in the year, the Hubs and I were on vacation.  I was reading a travel book about Italy but there was a good chunk of the author’s trip to Spain in it as well.  I don’t have a burning desire to go to Spain.  I’m sure it’s a beautiful country but right now my sights are set on Africa.  But the more I read, the more I thought, hmm, I could go to Spain.

And then, like a switch was flipped, it seemed like everywhere I looked, everything was Spanish or Spanish-influenced.  I fell in love with a Spanish-style platter.  I didn’t buy it but I really liked it.  I started hearing flamenco and tango music all day long on the classical station I keep on as background music.  When I went to the bookstore and was browsing I kept hitting on Spanish cookbooks, novels that took place in Spain or Spanish travel guides.  Magazines had articles about Spain.  People I knew mentioned they were going to Spain.  Out of the blue, the Hubs started talking about going to Spain.  He rented Vicky Christina Barcelona despite the fact that neither of us really wanted to see it.  Spain, Spain, Spain, Spain.  The signs pointing to Spain were everywhere.

Now did this stuff happen because we were meant to go to Spain?  Or does it happen because once your mind is open to an idea or concept, all of a sudden you see that idea or concept everywhere.  Like seeing everyone you know get engaged when you really want to get married or notice that every woman out there is pregnant when you want to have a baby (just examples people, just examples).  Was the Universe conspiring to get us to go to Spain or was it just a giant coincidence?

I don’t know.  We never did go to Spain.  The Hubs’ project at work was uncertain and he didn’t want to take any time off until he knew what was going on (fun fact, his project is still uncertain).  I was laid off and the during timeframe that  we could have gone away, I spent it going on interviews and fretting about said interviews.  I did get a job but took a big pay cut.  Money is not as free-flowing as it was last year so a Spanish vacation, while desirable on a lot of levels was not financially desirable this year.  So no Spain for us.

But it makes me wonder.  If these signs do appear for a reason, what was in Spain that I was supposed to see?  Or was I supposed to do something or meet someone?  Would my life have changed in some way because I went to Spain?  I don’t know.  It’s not a burning question that keeps me up at night or anything.  Rather it’s more like something to contemplate over a glass of wine or two with friends.  But it is interesting to note that once we decided that Spain wasn’t going to happen, all the Spanish “signs” stopped.  Or maybe my mind wasn’t open to seeing them anymore.

Hard to say.  I keep my eyes open now though.  And I wonder where the Universe will want me to go next.  I’m hoping it’s South Africa (still waiting to see signs about South Africa though) but one thing I have learned is that sometimes the Universe and I don’t always see eye to eye on places to go.   And sometimes, when I have that glass of wine in my hand, I wonder, what was waiting for me in Spain?  I’ll likely never know.  But I am watching.  And waiting.  For the next sign.

Why

is it that even though I start my Christmas knitting in May I’m still way behind with 50 days to go?

is it that I keep doing Christmas knitting for a group of people, many of whom I don’t particularly care for?

is it that I am dead tired at 6:30 pm but get my second wind at 10:30 pm and stay up way too late and thus perpetuate the cycle of exhaustion?

is it that deer WILL NOT stay off the highway?

is it that everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) in the world irritates me right now?  Oh, wait, that may be due to that whole exhaustion thing.  Maybe.  Or maybe I’m just super crusty right now.  Both are perfectly logical answers.

is it that I keep re-living something over and over and over that I can’t change?  It’s my own personal Groundhog Day.  Or version of insanity. 

is it that I can’t remember anything anymore?

is it that I keep having these ugly red freckly spots come up all over me and they refuse to go away? 

is it that I hate all my shoes?

is it that I have so much freaking yarn but not enough of any of any one kind to actually knit a garment?

is it that after 2 years of living in the Money Pit we STILL haven’t unpacked or hung up pictures?

is it that we ALWAYS have to spend Christmas Day with the outlaws?

is it that every year I dread Christmas more and more and wish that I could skip it entirely?

is it that I look like a wizened old crone on 4 hours of sleep yet the Hubs looks fresh as a daisy on the same number of hours?

is it that Canada Post has mysteriously lost my Sock Club shipment and the yarn store is not all that interested in tracking it down yet they want payment for the next installment?

is it that both of my sock clubs this year have sucked rocks?

Honestly.  It’s been that kind of week.  I want a do-over.  Or maybe go to bed tonight and wake up on December 26th.  Both options work for me.