Why

is it that even though I start my Christmas knitting in May I’m still way behind with 50 days to go?

is it that I keep doing Christmas knitting for a group of people, many of whom I don’t particularly care for?

is it that I am dead tired at 6:30 pm but get my second wind at 10:30 pm and stay up way too late and thus perpetuate the cycle of exhaustion?

is it that deer WILL NOT stay off the highway?

is it that everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) in the world irritates me right now?  Oh, wait, that may be due to that whole exhaustion thing.  Maybe.  Or maybe I’m just super crusty right now.  Both are perfectly logical answers.

is it that I keep re-living something over and over and over that I can’t change?  It’s my own personal Groundhog Day.  Or version of insanity. 

is it that I can’t remember anything anymore?

is it that I keep having these ugly red freckly spots come up all over me and they refuse to go away? 

is it that I hate all my shoes?

is it that I have so much freaking yarn but not enough of any of any one kind to actually knit a garment?

is it that after 2 years of living in the Money Pit we STILL haven’t unpacked or hung up pictures?

is it that we ALWAYS have to spend Christmas Day with the outlaws?

is it that every year I dread Christmas more and more and wish that I could skip it entirely?

is it that I look like a wizened old crone on 4 hours of sleep yet the Hubs looks fresh as a daisy on the same number of hours?

is it that Canada Post has mysteriously lost my Sock Club shipment and the yarn store is not all that interested in tracking it down yet they want payment for the next installment?

is it that both of my sock clubs this year have sucked rocks?

Honestly.  It’s been that kind of week.  I want a do-over.  Or maybe go to bed tonight and wake up on December 26th.  Both options work for me.

Like a phoenix rising from the flames

It’s no secret that I don’t like my FIL.  Picture Archie Bunker, but with a Greek accent and that’s the FIL.  Although Archie Bunker was slightly more enlightened.  But before you start to feel bad for the FIL, he doesn’t like me much either.  In fact, last Christmas he told the DH (in front of the WHOLE family) that he made a mistake marrying me.  Good times.

So why am I making the FIL a sweater for Christmas you ask?  That’s a lot of time to spend making someone I don’t like something.  Well, I like my uncle-in-law a lot.  And I have some really nice wool to  make him a sweater.  But I can’t make a sweater for him (the UIL) and not the FIL.  We open presents in front of each other on Christmas Day and while I really don’t like the FIL I’m not going to throw it out there for all to see….I’m trying to take the high road here.

So the plan is to make the UIL a sweater out of nice wool and make the FIL a crew neck sweater made out of the grossest, scratchiest, itchiest acrylic I have in my stash.  The FIL will be obligated to wear it and it will be uncomfortable.  Yes, I am evil and yes, I am going to hell.  I’ll probably see many of you there.

I started Itchy last year  (there’s a post somewhere in the archives but I’m lazy and  can’t be arsed to link it) but gave up on it.  I found it again last month and had to frog most of it, but it’s back baby!  Itchy and Scratchy has risen like a phoenix from the flames and will live to torment the FIL.  Which is why blog posts have been few and far between.  Give me a week or so and I’ll post a picture of Itchy in all it’s glory.  Bwah ha ha ha ha.  Ahem.  Excuse me now, I’ve got a sweater to knit.

 

Oh the things I will make!

A few years ago I made the mistake of making things for DH’s family for Christmas.  I compounded that mistake by doing it again the next year and the next.  For the most part they are pretty enthusiastic about what they get and I always try to make something that they will find useful.  Plus, since there are so many of them, I also have to pick things that are small and fast.

However, because there are so many of them, they also have to have the same thing or else noses will be out of joint.  I pick the colours to suit the recipient but the girls get the same thing and the boys, if I have time, get the same thing too.

I think though, this year will be the last year of handmade Christmas.  I find I am getting resentful of having to spend my time knitting for them, despite the fact that most of them really do like (and wear) what I give them.  Plus, I have a bunch of things I want to make for me.  Which is unusual since I rarely knit or sew for myself.

Anyway.  It’s two months and three days until Christmas.  I have a lot of knitting to do.

All of a sudden it hit me…there are 46 days until Christmas

That doesn’t count today.  YIKES!!!!  I’ve got one pair of mittens made.  Three more to go.  Two sweaters to make (sadly both are men’s…but they aren’t big men), one poncho/swancho/thingy to make (one is mostly done thank God), a hat, an aligator scarf, some stuffies, two pair of children’s pjs and I really don’t want to think about the rest of the list.  Yes I am crazy and no I don’t expect to sleep until December 25th either.  My saving grace is that many of these projects are on big needles using bulky yarn.  Can’t beat that combination.

On a completely unrelated note, Steph tagged me with a meme.  I’m excited as it’s my very first one.  I have to come up with seven things I love.  Which shouldn’t be hard as there is a whole lot more than seven things I love in this world.  I then have to photograph them (might be harder) and then upload all those photos to the blog.  Which will be the hardest part of all given that I’m innately lazy and a technical doofus.  Anyway, Steph I’m on it.  Check back later this week for the results.  Well, maybe check back next week as this Saturday we’re having a gathering of DH’s clan (including the dreaded outlaws) at our house and I have to bust my sorry ass to clean the house so that it’s one less thing for the MIL to bitch about.  I shouldn’t care but I do…I told you I was crazy.  So I’ll be busy this week being “house proud” but the itchy and scratchy sweater is waiting patiently to be cast on.  Oh so I’m ridicuously excited about the prospect of giving a shite gift to one of the banes of my existence I cannot tell you.  Also stay tuned for it “itchy” update.  I will find some time this week to work on that baby.